Deconstructing the Journal by Callum Brown

After completing the research process of the project we then started looking at the the journal which Callum kept during the difficult time he went through. We thought best that Callum deal with this difficult part of the project as he knew it best and could do the job perfectly.

 

Deconstructing the Journal by Callum Brown

I was told by my psychiatrist to keep journals during my time in depression, I still don’t know why. I re-read these journals several times, and lent it to my group to read also, so they could try and understand what I was going through, as I was trying to create a script. Now 2 years is a very long time, and a very long story to tell, but cutting it down into 2 minuets whilst trying to make the narrative and characters understandable and relate to is a very hard job. When we decided to do this as a film I was a little scared about dipping back into the darkness, but I was also exited to tell my story, however now I felt trying to make this into a 2 minute film was going to butcher it, but I sat down and wrote it over a few weeks none the less.

Deciding what part to use, combine or discard is a very daunting task, every time I edited it down I felt like I was throwing pieces of my life away, like they never happened, like I went through that for nothing, this was me getting to involved and dipping into that place again, I could feel it, I knew I just had to get this over with and the rest of the process would be easier, I hope. However my decision relied on what would work on film, what parts I could tell, and what were sometimes the hardest parts. Often I would read a section and it related far too much to a friend, and that part I could not tell, as I simply didn’t have time to build more than one character realistically, so I decided to stick with telling my story the best I could in the time frame, and using the signature moments that told it best.

With so much more to tell it’s almost a shame to discard so much, and even the script I have written I feel will be far too long. I do intend to make this film in its fullest if I ever have the time and budget to make a full feature, as I think I easily have the material, characters and events to make it a very in depth look at depression and self harming. With this film I was simply have to accept that I will try and tell this story in a much shorter time frame, I was interested by the first 10 minutes of ‘UP’ as they managed to tell a incredibly emotional tale of a lifetime in only 10 minuets. I have completed a script I am happy with, although with more time I know it can be better, but with the requirements given I think it’s the best it can be.

I found the script very difficult to write, I even found myself calling myself 'x' as I still find it hard to completely come to terms with all that I did, I decided not to use any dialogue, as through my research I have discovered that it often makes a story more emotional if you simply tell it through imagery and sound.